ARTIFICIAL BURNING OF MIDNIGHT OIL TAINTS GLOBAL EXPO
Winner disqualified after evidence of cognitive enhancement revealed
- Dateline
- 14 March 2029
Tired, but healthy, students and professionals have been buying Ritalin and the brain enhancing drug Modafinil illegally for more than a decade, but this type of doping or cheating is going up a notch. Just ask Jack McCloskey.
McCloskey, a 32-year-old male from Manhattan, has been disqualified from winning the Global Medical Science Expo, hosted by the World Health Organization every year. It has been established that he was making use of an implanted memory chip that gave him immediate access to hundreds of real-time, digitally published research papers. A personally tailored cocktail of performance elevating drugs was also found in his cabin bag at Charles de Gaulle airport.
The global Magna Cortica (which the WHO chooses to adhere to) clearly states that cognitive enhancement measures may only be taken if someone has a pre-existing condition like narcolepsy, Parkinson’s or paralysis. An individual may not take any brain-boosting aids if said individual is, medically, 100% able to speak, hear, feel, touch and taste.
An examination of McCloskey’s online Lifebook, which he foolishly shared publicly, has revealed that he was in a perfect state of health, before the cognitive boosters were taken. As such the WHO is within its rights to disqualify him; even though he was this year’s winner.
It’s one thing to eat healthily and exercise regularly in order to function optimally, but when does human achievement become super-human talent? When you find the cure for cancer like McCloskey did, that’s when.
Links to related stories
- The Future of Brain Implants, Wall Street Journal - 14 March 2014
- The Not-So-Distant Future When We Can All Upgrade Our Brains, The Atlantic - 12 May 2014
- Public Servants Used Drug, Modafinil, To Stay Awake To Complete The Federal Budget On Time, News.com.au - 27 May 2014
- Biohackers Are Turning Meals into Math Across the World, Munchies - 9 June 2014
- MindBullet: SHOULD WE CREATE SUPERMAN - JUST BECAUSE WE CAN? (Dateline: 17 May 2025, Published: 20 December 2012)
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