You’ll never have to look for anything again. Now that everything’s connected in the internet of things, the wardrobe knows which clothes are your favourite, and automagically sorts your sock drawer.

Looking for your keys, sunglasses, hat, beanie or whatever? Just ask, and the Thinking Cupboard™ will retrieve it for you. Each item or article of clothing has one of those nanochips embedded. The ones that draw power from your smart home network, wirelessly of course. They’re basically standard for anything shipped from Walmart-Alibaba.

So whenever you add something to your personal inventory, like, you know, shopping, the Google Nest picks it up and tells Thinking Cupboards™ to rank it according to how often it’s used. Nothing is lost, and you even get suggestions linked to your date’s Facebook profile when you’re dressing for an evening out.

And you’ll never find the husk of a dead spider or dust mites in your closet – cleaning is automatic too. Just don’t be surprised when that old sweater you were keeping for the next fishing trip gets donated to a homeless shelter. The cupboard knows you’re never going to wear it again!