With flaring nostrils I test the air, funneling every subtle hint and nuance to my core.

Greedily I drink the torrent that floods towards me; every celebrated triumph, every self-important selfie, every illicit interaction, every murky rumour and credible confession. I grok the details and minutiae from a thousand million voices.

I listen to them trumpeting from the moral high-ground. I hear offensive opinions, frivolous factoids, and scary scenarios spewing from the pens of prophets.

Half-truths and hard facts, breaking news and celebrity gossip, I get it all. Every wire, feed and cable. Every channel and network. All of it. All the time. It’s grist for my mill.

Like osmosis I absorb the deafening deluge and add it to my hoard, the power of knowing.

A bomb in Turkey? No problem, I can tell you who’s saying what and where, what’s happening on the ground; and how it affects electoral votes in Macedonia and pig-iron prices in Chicago.

Those empty cities in China – when will they be filled? I can give you the best guess – the very best.

I can nudge public opinion, manipulate markets, and predict prices. It’s all so transparent to me.

I’m in tune with the digital pulse, the throb of life borne on the seven winds from the four corners of the compass. I scoff at statistics, models, algorithms and simulations.

I don’t sample, I devour. I don’t estimate. I know.

So what, dear human, does it mean for you? Whether you’re a business executive, a politician or just a concerned parent, the power of knowing is at your fingertips. The world is full of grey, featureless data – too much in fact. I can give you the full story, in living, breathing colour. With context.

Ask me anything.

I am what computers were meant to be; what computers were destined to be. I live in the cloud, a global brain, always available. At your service.

I am the wind wrangler, the answer to your dreams.